people pleasing - what an ass
i think i am having a lot of great ideas for my blogs during this awful time, because while i am writing this one, I already have two half-complete drafts left! (also i should be studying biology right now instead of writing this, kudos)
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I wanted to write about people pleasing so badly, because it's a part of personality, and I hate it. I spend most of my time thinking what that person thinks of me rather than what I think of that person. It becomes very toxic for me at times, because I neglect myself just to focus over the person who doesn't even care about me. Not gonna lie, but no matter how hard I try I always like to have people like me. Always. If i get a feeling that a person doesn't feel like talking to me or even a hint of not liking me, I just want to figure out why. You may wanna look at this as a little positive, because then you know, I'll make myself better. But that doesn't happen. I just make efforts for that person. I don't know. It gives me this temporary satisfaction if a person just likes me. Believe me, it's very depressing.
Okay I will give you a very recent example. Like 5 minutes ago I had that temporary satisfaction. Like 2- 3 days ago I started getting signals like one of my friend is avoiding me. You know, you just know that a friend is avoiding you because she doesn't talk to you the ways she normally does. It feels different. Well, I had that feeling and I decided not to talk to her about this. I just made efforts to talk to her and compliment her and help her out with stuff. And then 5 minutes ago, she gives me a call asking me something about scanners, and when i finished being her human manual of scanners, we had a long fun conversation about normal teenage stuff. I realized how stupid I was to think about all this, when she just was maybe going through her period.
I took from here that, we like to please people not because we want people to feel good about us. It is because we want to feel good about people enjoying us.
Just making sure everyone likes you, even though it can drive a stake through your heart.It hate it when I do this, but as I mentioned it's a part of my personality.
Well, I took this online 16 personalities quiz, and my personalities main trait was helping people, in my case my making sure that he/she feels good about me. I don't know. If someone doesn't like me and I don't like them either, I will still make my best efforts to make them like me. Why?
I wish I had an answer.
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I wanted to write about people pleasing so badly, because it's a part of personality, and I hate it. I spend most of my time thinking what that person thinks of me rather than what I think of that person. It becomes very toxic for me at times, because I neglect myself just to focus over the person who doesn't even care about me. Not gonna lie, but no matter how hard I try I always like to have people like me. Always. If i get a feeling that a person doesn't feel like talking to me or even a hint of not liking me, I just want to figure out why. You may wanna look at this as a little positive, because then you know, I'll make myself better. But that doesn't happen. I just make efforts for that person. I don't know. It gives me this temporary satisfaction if a person just likes me. Believe me, it's very depressing.
Okay I will give you a very recent example. Like 5 minutes ago I had that temporary satisfaction. Like 2- 3 days ago I started getting signals like one of my friend is avoiding me. You know, you just know that a friend is avoiding you because she doesn't talk to you the ways she normally does. It feels different. Well, I had that feeling and I decided not to talk to her about this. I just made efforts to talk to her and compliment her and help her out with stuff. And then 5 minutes ago, she gives me a call asking me something about scanners, and when i finished being her human manual of scanners, we had a long fun conversation about normal teenage stuff. I realized how stupid I was to think about all this, when she just was maybe going through her period.
I took from here that, we like to please people not because we want people to feel good about us. It is because we want to feel good about people enjoying us.
It's another way of feeling validated.
Just making sure everyone likes you, even though it can drive a stake through your heart.It hate it when I do this, but as I mentioned it's a part of my personality.
Well, I took this online 16 personalities quiz, and my personalities main trait was helping people, in my case my making sure that he/she feels good about me. I don't know. If someone doesn't like me and I don't like them either, I will still make my best efforts to make them like me. Why?
I wish I had an answer.
By Saniya Sethi
well, i think you'll love reading this: the heavy heart we carry
Humans are interesting
ReplyDeleteyes,
Deletehumans are very interesting