The Disposable Camera Effect

Hi, I am Saniya, and I have always struggled with friendships. You may never understand how much courage it took to write this down.

I have an exam in 32 hours, by the way. I shouldn't be thinking about how friendships always take a piece of my heart. But honestly, I’m tired of pretending they don’t affect me. They do—more than they should.

When Friendships Start Feeling Like a Test

Making friends was never a problem. I was a social kid. In 6th grade, I was part of a tight-knit girl’s group—the kind that made WhatsApp chats called "Friends Forever." Funny enough, I don’t talk to any of them now. But that’s not the issue.

The issue is that, as I grew up, friendships stopped being about sharing lunchboxes and became about showing up—being happy for each other’s growth and being supportive. And somewhere along the way, life decided to test me. Again and again.

I'm exhausted from maintaining friendships that make me question our bond every week. They say college friendships last a lifetime, but what if mine don’t even last a year? It feels like some people change their opinions about me overnight. They start acting differently, suddenly, for no reason. And the worst part? I don’t even dare to ask why.

The Disposable Camera Effect

The universe sends people into my life who feel like the best friends I’ve ever had—and then, boom—they change. Just like that.

It’s like I’m a disposable camera to them. A beautiful, fleeting thing that captures their best moments, builds them a magnificent memory castle… until they’re done with me. Then, I’m put away—still functioning, still capable—but suddenly imperfect.

And I just want to know—what did I do? Did I change? Did I stop being enough? Or was I never enough in the first place?

Despite everything, I’ve had some incredible friends—both in school and college. I just hope you guys stay.

Thanks for reading.

Saniya.

(Back to studying? Or sleeping?) It’s 2 AM.

(Disclaimer: I know this is a first-world problem. I know I sound like I’m whining about friendships. But I do have friends—some of them are just testing me right now. Happens all the time.)

source: twitter/x.com, thank u Elon Musk