engineering happened, & now i am finding myself

hi

I am so embarrassed

I am writing after TWO WHOLE years. Yes, this is coming from someone who wrote 2 books, 100 poems, 50 blog posts and so many unpublished letters to her favourite people. Guys, this is an apology, a serious one this time.

Where do I start? I got lost. College happened. Friends happened. Life happened in general. I remember writing here about how excited I was to go to college. Will you believe me if I say that college will end soon for me? Would you believe me if I said I would move to a new city in the next 5 months? Will you believe me if I say that this stupid writer will make Excel sheets all day? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

you know when people say that if you live with a bunch of idiots, you also become an idiot. that's what college did to me. well, I am not saying I am surrounded by idiots. But it's safe to say that, people at my college lack depth. they don't understand art, writing, or poetry in the way that I do. Forgive me, I don't mean to say that I am better than the people at my college. I have just never been able to find that crowd. So slowly as my first year turned to my third year, as these hostels became home, and as life became more serious, I lost a piece of myself. A writer, or perhaps just a stupid writer, or better: a blog writer? 

You see, I know it's my mistake. I forgot I could write, stopped documenting life, stopped writing my journal, and simply existed. I truly became a different person. But this is a serious start to revive my blog and tune in to my original My Thought Traffic.

Let me introduce myself:

I am Saniya. 22. Engineering student. Film Conneseuir. Mostly writer. Sometimes late to class. This is my serious attempt to introduce you to My Thought Traffic, again. 

I have written a lot. I have 2 books. This blog. My first love is poetry; and second: films. I have 3 thick journals full of scribbles and letters back at home. I am trying to find myself within this ocean of thoughts. I want to regain the depth that I have lost while being at college. And now, you guys are accountable. 

[what you seek, is within you]