bring your own bullshit

my mind sends the wrong invitation

with a hint of anxiety and desperation

they serve the wrong drinks to start me
it invites me to my own pity party

i enter to witness a noisy silence

sharp whispers in shades of violence

my eyes shut in this cold weather

i stand alone, the opposite of together

if not now, then when?

is it no one, is it them?

irritating irrational interrogation

i feel helpless in this situation

i can't identify the problem

is it me, is it them?

am i thinking a lot?

they love me. they love me not.

i am losing touch with reality

like i am living in a nightmare-like fantasy

i can't control my rushing thoughts

the blood doesn't flow among these tight knots

how do i tell myself everything's alright

i sleep with indecision every night

this party only served pessimistic thoughts to eat

they were too bitter to be disguised as sweet