"living is a constant effort to put everything into equilibrium."

(if you were wondering: this post includes references from biology, level: mild) 

okay give me a minute, it's 7 in the morning. i was revising for my English exam. ugh. but this realization hit me, and suddenly everything makes sense. (!!!)

so i am a biology person, (not a student, a PERSON) so in my head there's always some biology concept floating. today morning, it was the "living state", i am not going to bore you. but we discuss, life in a biological form and what determines a thing as "living" or "non-living", in a scientific way, obviously. so there's this sentence in my textbook, which says:

life is a constant effort to attain equilibrium.

which makes sense. but a living state can never "achieve" that equilibrium, because if our bodies decide to reach equilibrium, our body will not undergo metabolic reactions(mostly energy supply will be cut). no anabolism. no catabolism. which means we'll be dead, in biological terms. and so we say that living is a non-equilibrium state. that's it. now for the realization.

is life supposed to be in an equilibrium? we are always seeking stability(/equilibrium) in our daily life. we are always chasing to settling down somewhere. but think about the time when you thought everything was in place. think about the time when you thought when everything was just the way you wanted it to be. but if you really think about it deeply, it is never COMPLETLY IN PLACE.  are you 100% confident for your math exam? are you 100% confident your crush likes you back? are you 100% sure you'll have the future you're working for? are you a 100% per cent confident about the fact that you will get into that one college? the answer is NO, dude. if that were possible, it would mean you have equilibrium/balance/stability in life. but since we always have a 1% or 2%  doubt, it shifts us from a balanced state to an unbalanced state, also known as non-equilibrium. no matter how hard we work our asses off, there will always be something in our god damn mind, which will never let us achieve That Balance (capital letter T and B "The Balance"). so maybe our life (in philosophical terms) is supposed to be a non-equilibrium state. maybe we're always supposed to be in a 1% doubt. maybe this is why all hand sanitizers kill 99.9% germs and not that 0.1% too. (ohh, is that Saniya cracking a really really bad joke, yes!)

anyway i have my exam is like 20 minutes. bye. i hope you have a great non equilibrium state!

by me.

(also I've got into sketching human figures, wow)